I Should Have Told You Before
by WickedSong
Summary: "How could you tell the girl you love that you were walking away? How could you look into those eyes you love so much and manage to say, 'I'm leaving.' He had done it before. Why was it so hard now?" Samcedes two shot.
1. Chapter 1

**I Should Have Told You Before,**

**Written by WickedSong**

**Disclaimer : I do now own Glee, FOX does. I know these facts well enough and they haunt me to this day. In addition, I based this loosely off of the song Legally Blonde from (you guessed it) Legally Blonde : The Musical so I don't own that either. If you haven't heard, I wouldn't say you have to, just that it might help set the mood a little. Moreover this is canon compliant up until and including On My Way so spoiler alert for that episode and the ones preceding it. So that's all I have to say and more in my note at the end. I hope you all don't hate me after this ;)**

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><p>The bags were packed and the small room looked completely bare. Sam looked around, making sure everything was in order and back to how it had been before his impromptu residence in this room only three months ago. Now it was reverted back to how he had first saw it, no pictures on the wall of his family or friends, no sheets on the bed, the drawers cleared out of his clothing. There were no books on the desk-<p>

_Wait_...Sam walked over and found that under the desk was a copy of one of the books Kurt had recommended he read. Sam had taken one look at _Twilight _and then promptly left it somewhere he could conviently forget about it. He didn't have to read to know it simply wasn't his thing. He was touched by Kurt's kind gesture (he had done so in an attempt to give Sam something to focus on when he had been moping around because of the situation with Mercedes) but his dyslexia also made it a nightmare and he didn't feel the need to put in the time and effort he would have to for it.

_I probably should return that_, he thought wryly, and he would when everyone met up, where he would also announce his intention to return to Kentucky. Checking his pockets, he found he still had the key that Carole and Burt had given him when when he had moved in. _That too, _he remembered, noting to hand it to Kurt or Finn when he was about to leave.

Taking his bags he went down the stairs and said a goodbye to this place which had, for all intents and purposes, been his home away from home for a while. Giving one of his haphazard smiles he opened the door, closed it behind him, used his key one final time and made his way to the rustic old car his father had insisted he take when he had left Kentucky for Lima. He had been hesitant at first but his dad had insisted it was one an old friend - the same one who had managed to get him the construction job in Kentucky - had given them when they had arrived. They had their own car, one of their last material possessions and it wasn't as if they would get a good price for the old thing so it had been the perfect time to use it.

Kurt and Finn were already at Breadstix, at a dinner for Quinn who had slowly but surely almost recovered from her sudden accident on the day that Finn and Rachel were supposed to be getting married. She was to use a wheelchair for a few weeks but apart from that, and the cuts and bruises she still sported, she was looking positively towards the future. Sam was glad for this. She deserved, for all she had been through, all the good things that were surely going to come her way once she was out of Lima and her run of bad luck was a distant thing of the past.

Sam stuffed the bags into the trunk and thought again why he was doing this. Was it the best thing? To run and hide. To walk away from everything. Could he keep fighting even if it seemed as if all hope in ever having Mercedes back in his arms again was lost? The honest answer was no. He had given her her space ever since Valentine's Day. Ever since she sang that song and effectively ripped his heart out in front of everyone else. But who was he to blame her? She had shouldered all responsibility, she was trying to make her way back to him and all he had done was make it harder for her to do so.

The weeks following the accident when the possibility that Quinn might not make it was still very real they had both been distant, worrying about their friend, praying and hoping she'd fight back and she did.

Quinn fought back and even when they knew she was going to make it, when all seemed fine, they were still distant. Maybe he had tried to talk to her once or twice but he had been scared to do so, afraid that one false move and he'd be forever frozen out. He had always believed that she would meet him halfway one day. But maybe that wasn't on the cards for them this time.

Maybe, sometimes, things didn't work out that way.

He would leave, he would do what was best for the both of them. He wished that he hadn't come back, that none of this would have happened, that she wouldn't be facing a battle against herself and that he wouldn't be trying to piece together a heart that seemed to be irreperable. Getting into his car, he shook his head. _You wouldn't change one moment_, he taunted himself, that voice of doubt and insecurity and everything he had pushed aside growing strong, _because in the end you know she loves you and the feeling is more mutual than ever before. But you're too scared to face up to it, because what if you lose her again? What if you're happy, and it's like summer and then it's autumn all over again?_

He told himself to shut up.

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><p>Arriving at Breadstix, Sam saw that everyone else was already gathered. He already hated himself for what he was about to do but he couldn't feel any worse so he figured it was better to just get it over and done with. He would talk to his friends, he would laugh with them and then at the end of the night they would hug him and say goodbye but life would go on, as it had in June.<p>

A goodbye from Sam Evans wouldn't affect anyone in that room too severely. It hadn't before.

Walking in he was greeted by Kurt who waved while laughing at something Blaine was saying. The former Warbler also noticed him. "Sam! We thought you weren't going to show up!" He looked as enthusastic about his arrival as he did about most things.

Sam gave a non commital shrug. "Sorry, I got caught up in a few things." Kurt arched an eyebrow and Sam didn't reply to his unspoken question. Looking around he spotted Finn. "Look, dude, could you grab Finn and meet me in the bathroom in a couple of minutes."

"Sam, why?"

"Just do it, please?"

Kurt sighed, standing up. "Fine."

Sam smiled and then after giving a nod to Blaine, walked over to the first person he wanted to see. Mercedes turned around and the two stood awkwardly before Sam spoke up.

"You look beautiful tonight." He never lied because she always did.

"Thanks."

Why did it feel as if there was so much still left unresolved? Why did it feel as if, even if he was leaving her, that he never actually would. Because Kentucky was his way of moving on, fixing his heart but he would find that impossible to do when part of it was still in Lima - where it had been since that late night in June he and his family had left.

"I just want you to know that-"

"Yes."

Her brown doe eyes held something - was it hope, relief, fear - _what was it_? He didn't know but suddenly he couldn't tell her, couldn't physically get the words out.

How could you tell the girl you love that you were walking away? How could you look into those eyes you love so much and manage to say, 'I'm leaving.' He had done it before. Why was it so hard now?

_Maybe it's because it wasn't your choice last time_, the voice chastised.

He shut it up for a second time.

Sam shook his head. "It's nothing. I have to go talk to Finn and Kurt, we'll talk later."

Mercedes nodded but her face gave nothing away. "I'd like that." She turned to walk into a conversation with Tina and Quinn as Sam headed towards the men's room.

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><p>"So remember that talk we had a couple of weeks ago?"<p>

"About Mercedes and how you didn't know what to do anymore?" Finn asked.

"That very one," replied Sam as he leaned on a sink. The three boys stood, Finn by the dryer and Kurt by the door as Sam looked for the right words. It wasn't easy but easier to tell them rather than Mercedes first. "I just want to say thanks to you two. For all your help and everything you've done. Not just when I've been here but for my family before I moved and-"

"Sam, what's wrong?" Kurt asked, his voice sounding very concerned. But his face held a different look, as if he had been expecting this.

"I'm going back to Kentucky."

He waited for the shit storm and it happened well and truly. At these words, Kurt and Finn stormed out of the bathroom, leaving him to follow them awkwardly. The step-brothers stood in front of the assembled group and probably in the most irrational thing they could've done, told the entire group. This of course only caused a louder outcry of 'why', 'you just came back, dude,' and 'please don't leave again.'

The only one who remained silent was a stunned Mercedes but Sam wasn't sure why and he wasn't sure whether her silence unnerved him or made him slightly relieved. It was probably the former.

"Look guys!" Sam called over the din his friends were making. "I'm sorry I'm letting you all down, but I just want to thank you all for treating me decently, through everything my family went through."

"But Sam-"

"No buts, Brittany," he said sternly to the blonde Cheerio, who looked as if she was mentally planning a way to force Sam to stay. Whatever she would plan it wouldn't work, whether it be tying him to a chair or having an intervention with Lord Tubbington. He continued, skillfully avoiding Mercedes' eye which was actually easy considering she was the only one not looking at him, her eyes instead averted to the table, "You've all been so good to me, this group was the best thing about Lima." He wanted to add in that she was the best part but decided not to add anymore hurt to this. "Maybe someday you can all visit, during summer and you can call. I promise, I won't cut myself out of the group anymore."

"Do I need to beat your ass up?" Puck asked, standing up. "This is insane dude, freaking insane. Why would you decide this, of all times, now!"

He looked down, not wanting to see their faces when he gave his real reason. "You guys are my second family but when I moved during the summer you all made it clear that life went on without me and that's fine, that's normal." And deciding he would be forward with his feelings this time, he added, "But I came back for two reasons, Sectionals and you know who else." He didn't have to say it. Puck sat down, folding his arms. "And now, well now, there's no reason for me to stay." He turned to leave. "I'll call when I get there. I'm sorry."

With that he left. Everyone called him back but no one had the guts to follow him, because they knew that the one person who could change his mind was still sitting trying to process the news in her head.

"What about love, Sam?" Mercedes muttered, almost silently, that Rachel broke the general group silence by asking what she had said. "Why did I never mention love?" She looked up but found that he was gone. She had been so caught up in trying to speak, trying to make him stay that she had forgotten to actually say anything at all. Their timing was all screwed up all the time. Why was it only when they had found each other that he had to leave and then it was happening again. It was like a terrible cycle, one she had to put an end to.

Standing up, Mercedes pushed past Rachel and Finn to follow Sam where he had exited. But she had been too late.

His car had left as she walked outside. She wasn't sure how long she had been standing there, watching, hoping that he had a change of heart halfway there and had turned back. But no such thing ever happened. She felt arms wrap around her. "I should have made it more clear, Kurt. I-I should have told him before," she said to her friend. She shook her head and felt so stupid for the tears burning her eyes, for letting this happen _again_. This had happened before, right?

"Shhh," Kurt whispered in her ear, trying to lead her inside but she refused to move, just wanting him to hug her out in the cool spring night air. What was she waiting for? That last minute reunion.

That wasn't going to happen.

"He wouldn't have had to go, Kurt."

"Don't you worry, he'll be back. He always is."

But she knew he was lying to her. Because they had both been idiots, they had both done things that had ruined everything, he had waltzed back into her life after being gone, he had went after her knowing she had a boyfriend and he had been the one who he had left her again. And she had been the one who had tried to dismiss him, had tried to deny the connection she still felt, who tried to tell herself that she still didn't love him, that she never had, when that had been a lie and she had been the one who had been too scared to try again.

And now what had that left? Him driving back to Kentucky, a four hour drive where he was trying to keep tears out of his vision as he concentrated intently on the road before him and her, out in the parking lot of Breadstix, the New Directions hugging her and trying to coerce her back inside.

In this situation, they both walked away broken-hearted, the victim of bad timing and misunderstandings, both wondering when it would be their time to get it right.

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><p><strong>I don't think I've bummed you guys out this much since - well ever (maybe that one time I trolled you all in the last chapter of The Wedding Singer) - but don't fret, I've decided that this a two shot. I actually don't know the logistics of part two yet but I know where I'm going with it.<strong>

**So inspiration, I hear you ask, and why a song from Legally Blonde? I was listening to this song and made a post about it on tumblr and then the wonderful basicallyrunalways (who, btw, this story is dedicated to) tells me she sees this as a Samcedes song. Cue intense sobs and the need to write something angsty (as always, I hear you mumble, exactly!)**

**And then mariposafria (who writes the most wonderful Samcedes fic and also leaves the kindest reviews) suggests in a review reply that I write a follow up to the events of Heart. I don't think this is exactly what you had in mind but I hope the fact that it's a two shot leaves you intrigued. The second part of the story shall be dedicated to you, don't worry ;)**

**So thanks for reading and if you review/fave/alert, thanks for that too!**

**See you for the second part hopefully by Tuesday night ;)**

**WickedSong x**


	2. Chapter 2

**I Should Have Told You Before,**

**Written by WickedSong.**

**Disclaimer/Note : In the first chapter. I know you guys have been waiting for this (thanks for the feedback btw! :D) So here you go. Hope it does not disappoint as a follow-up.**

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><p>A week following Sam Evans' sudden and second departure from Lima and Kurt Hummel was ready to take matters into his own hands. If Sam and Mercedes weren't willing to work out their issues, then he guessed he'd have to take matters into his own hands. He had tried to get them to speak, calling Sam and insisting that everyone needed him in Lima, that she needed him and that he needed her and no matter what had happened in the past, they should be ready to move past that now. Sam had ended the call when Kurt had refused to change the topic and hadn't answered any of the counter-tenor's phone calls since then.<p>

Mercedes, on the other hand, had said she was fine and Kurt knew this excuse only too well. She had been 'fine' as well when Sam had moved to Kentucky, she had been 'fine' for a couple of months and then how 'fine' she was led her to Shane. She was very good at not dealing with her feelings, he knew this, he had been on the receiving end of this, he and everyone else had watched this in action. They had been all too quick to believe her last time, all caught up in their own problems, unable to see what was in front of them.

Sam's reluctance and Mercedes' denial worked hand in hand to convince Kurt that intervening was his only option now.

"Kurt, where are you going? The mall is that way."

Kurt gripped the steering wheel tighter in his hands, not daring to look at his friend, trying to gauge her mood before saying anything. Santana, who sat in the back seat with Brittany beat him to it however.

"Just a detour."

"_Where_?"

"Kentucky." Kurt was surprised at how loud he sounded but he continued, even as Mercedes widened her eyes and demanded that he turn around now. "Oh this is not about you and Sam. I need my _Twilight _book back and he still has that. It's important."

Santana sniggered which caused Mercedes to turn around and glare at the girl, who shrugged her shoulders, showing that she didn't care and was fully involved in this plan. Brittany looked very enthusastic too. She bounced up and down in her seat.

"Kentucky is four hours away, Kurt. I could call this kidnapping."

"Oh hush," he replied. "Obviously I talked to your parents and they were on board. They even gave me some gas money." He gave her a cheerful smile. "I'm doing what neither you or Sam are brave enough to do. You should be thanking me."

"_Us_," corrected Santana.

"Us," amended Kurt, with a nod, his eyes still on the road. "Apologies Satan."

"I'll let you off with it, Hummel."

She gave a curt nod, and Mercedes looked between them disbelievingly.

"So you've all just sort of glossed over the fact we're driving four hours to Kentucky, for what?"

"For love."

Brittany's reply sounded so sweet and innocent and genuine that even Mercedes couldn't stifle her smile but it was quickly wiped away when she thought about it. "He's the one who left. He's the one who doesn't want to fix this. Why should I-"

"You're both being stupid, you've both made mistakes, you're both being stubborn and we're going to fix these mistakes today or so God help me," Santana said, and she sounded as if she was hell-bent on getting their situation worked out in that day and if it took any longer she'd turn the car around.

Mercedes didn't say anything else although she had plenty to say. Who were they to get involved in this? Did they even _get _what had happened? Or had they been blind as she had sang that song of goodbye to Sam in glee on Valentine's. Had they just forgotten how she had dissolved into tears before their eyes while he had fled the choir room, not able to handle his own that kept coming. And maybe that was the reason.

She hadn't even stopped to see herself as heartbroken, because she had been so good at just pushing all the pain away, and had kept herself busy enough, what with Troubletones rehearsal for Regionals, the New Directions practices (which frankly didn't help so much because he was always there too and there was that distance she didn't trust herself to bridge) and then finally Quinn's accident, which had left her with even more emotional turmoil than before. But she had been strong, strong for everyone else, for herself and that had worked. It had worked before. No one had noticed when Sam had first moved and she had been allowed to push it away and 'move on' as she had called it.

Now, she was actually being called out on her lies, her insistence that she was 'fine' with Sam moving back home. She would laugh if it wasn't so sad that they had just all now noticed.

So the remainder of the car ride to Kentucky was somewhat silent, with the only sound being Brittany's voice as she rambled on about something to Santana, who smiled and laughed with her, always amused by her girlfriend's point of view and theories. Mercedes tried to listen but that voice in her head just kept saying, '_you're about to see him again_,' and that made her more nervous than she cared to admit.

They stopped for a quick pit stop but were back on the road and at their destination before it got dark. Kurt had been pleased at the time they had made, but hadn't wanted to waste any time and so found Sam's address quickly and somehow managed to navigate the car to the modest two storey house the Evans' had found once their luck had started to change.

Mercedes didn't realise she had been sitting in the car for that long until Santana spoke up. "So what do we do now? Ring the doorbell? Knock some sense into him?" She looked as if she meant that last question literally.

"This is a mistake," Mercedes said quietly as she looked down at her hands, which shook nervously with dread and anticipation. "I should have never let you drive me here, Kurt. I-I can't do it. I can't face him."

Kurt reached over and took her hand. "Look, I know we're not as close as we used to be, but I can still read you like an open book." He gave a weak but genuine smile. "If you didn't want to come here, you wouldn't have come here."

"You forced me!" she exclaimed incredulously. "You just dropped the 'we're going to Kentucky' bomb on me without any thought about how I would be feeling about it."

For the first time he looked a little guilty. "So maybe it wasn't the most rational thing to do? Maybe figuring this out in your own time would've worked, maybe letting him do that would have been a success. But how long would that take?" He shrugged his shoulders. "We did this," he looked at Brittany and Santana who wore encouraging smiles, "because we care about you, and Sam and the only thing we want is you two to be happy. And that's with each other."

Mercedes looked up to smile at him and then to the two Cheerios in the back, before taking a deep breath, steeling herself and opening the car door.

"That's our girl!" exclaimed Santana cheerfully while Brittany whooped in the background. Kurt gave a small smile of approval and mouthed 'just keep walking' in an attempt to give her the strength to do what she had to do.

As Mercedes opened the gate, it taking a little longer than it should have due to her furiously shaking hands, she felt the first droplets of rain fall onto her face. Remembering that she had brought no jacket with her and knowing there wouldn't be one in the car she kept going, walking up the path until she reached the door.

Hesitantly she reached her hand up and knocked, not sure who would answer and what the reaction would be.

She couldn't help but smile when the door opened and a small head appeared around the door which was locked by a chain. The little blonde girl looked up and down, then blinked a few times in astonishment before closing the door back over.

Mercedes didn't know how to take this, what to do next but she stood her ground, while the rain fell, ready to knock the door again if that was Stacey's way of freezing her out. She wouldn't leave without Sam knowing everything. Without seeing if this was finally their chance.

She raised her hand to knock again but was stunned when it opened and she was face to face with Sam. It had only been a week but she felt as if she hadn't seen him in forever, and she hadn't to be honest. They had been so distant, like two people who used to know each other, who nodded in acknowledgement of the other across the choir room, who said quick hellos and goodbyes in the passing.

Momentarily stunned, she let Sam speak first. "What are you doing here?" His voice was gruff but she knew that was just to hide the fact that he was still hurt. She knew that tone well enough.

"What's with the attitude?" She folded her arms.

"Oh, I'm sorry, was I meant to be pleased at my little sister telling me you were here? I thought you were fine with moving on?"

Mercedes kept her arms folded, and looked down. "Do you think I'd be here if I was?"

Sam shrugged. "You tell me."

_Tell you what_, she thought as she scrutinised his expression, one that made it seem as if he was also asking the same question, _how I want you to know how much I miss you now, how much I missed you before, how much I wanted to say something last week and how crushed I was when I realised that no matter how much I stood outside of Breadstix you weren't going to turn back, not this time._

And while it all seemed like something she could say, again, she couldn't quite articulate her thoughts, not when all they had ever had seemed to rest on this conversation. After today they would either reunite or walk away - and if it was the latter no amount of time could fix what had been broken.

Sensing her hesitance Sam gave a wry smile and looked upwards. "It's raining. Come on, we can talk inside."

"Are you sure? I don't want to intrude."

He opened the door and turned back, this time his smile in full force. "You never would."

She wouldn't lie that the smile made her heart do a flip but she followed him anyway, as he walked into the dining room. "Where are your parents?"

"Out for the day," replied Sam. "I'm looking after them." He gestured to a shy looking Stacey and Stevie who peered into the room. "Kinda like old times."

Awkwardly Mercedes nodded, remembering how she would also help look after his siblings in those old times.

"Guys, some privacy?" he asked, smiling at his siblings and they jumped back from the door, Stacey accusing Stevie of eavesdropping and vice-versa. Sam chuckled. "OK, OK, just go ahead and watch some TV, but keep it quiet."

Mercedes was reminded of how parental Sam had always appeared to be around his brother and sister, the result of months spent acting as both brother and authority figure.

Closing the door, Sam went to sit across from her.

"I thought we were done. I stood in front of you and even though everyone else was there, I poured my heart out, I was looking for you to give me a reason, I was looking...looking for something I guess we're never gonna find again."

_How wrong you are_, Mercedes thought, as she put her hand on the table, not so close to touch but close enough. "You didn't give me a chance," she demanded. "You basically said 'take me or leave me' and then gave me all of a second to process it. How fair was that?"

Sam leaned back on his seat. He sighed. "I never thought of it that way. I just couldn't wait anymore. Maybe I should have-"

"You didn't let me finish," she said, with a gleam in her eye, as she looked at him. At this he leaned forwards again and put his hand back on the table, again just close enough that they weren't actually touching. "It was my fault as well. I had wanted to say to you for a weeks that I wanted to try again-"

"So did I-"

"-but I was scared."

"-but I was scared."

They both laughed after they realised they had spoken simultaneously. It was the strangest thing to be laughing about - this fear - but it appeared to be the common thing tying them back together. That thread that pulled them back to each other. Knowing that they were both afraid of taking the fall was maybe just enough to force them to take it.

"I waited for you to come back after you left Breadstix," she confessed. "I thought you'd come back. Again."

"I wanted to," he replied, looking down. But he quickly lifted his head and taking some initiative he placed his hand over hers, an action which caused her to look up. He took it as a good sign that she didn't retract it. "But like I said, I thought-I thought you had moved on - or wanted to - from us and me. My parents told me to stop being an idiot, to go back but-"

"So basically it was a misunderstanding?" She shook her head, feeling the urge to laugh. It was all so inconsequential now. In the here and now where they were sitting across from each other in his dining room, in his home, in Kentucky. It all seemed so simple now, so clear.

He nodded, and gave that crooked smile. "A big misunderstanding which has lasted way too long." He gripped her hand tighter, more urgently, something which she returned. He was about to speak but Mercedes took the words right out of his mouth.

"Sam, will you be my boyfriend? Again?"

Sam looked deep in thought, shocked that she had been so forward about it. "I just have to think about that..." She tilted her head, and stuck her tongue out at him, knowing what he was doing. "Of course I will."

"And I know if you don't come back, well, Puck is going to be making his own visit here soon."

Sam laughed and smiled. "My parents were going to drive me back tomorrow anyway. They said I had to sort this thing out, that I couldn't run from us anymore."

"Strangely enough that's what everyone else said."

"Everyone else?"

"Yeah." She took his hand. "Just one minute of your time." She couldn't help the huge smile that erupted on her face when she felt his hand in hers again, like it should've been for the better part of this year, before everything got all messed up.

Walking outside, she pointed to the car, where Kurt, Santana and Brittany were involved in heated discussion until they saw them.

Kurt rolled down his window. "You two work things out!"

Santana did the same with hers. "And other stuff, right!"

The old/new couple only smiled and laughed, before turning to each other. "So this is goodbye then?"

"Until tomorrow," said Sam.

She put her arms around his neck for a hug and he put his around her waist, pulling her in close, thinking how it had been almost a year since he had held her like this. So long, too long. He would never let go again if he could help it.

"Until tomorrow," she repeated. Backing out of the hug, she kept her arms where they were and he also did so, the two leaning in, closer and closer, finally sharing that one searing kiss, full of passion, and everything they had held back from that cold December day when he had swept back into her life up until this warmer day, with the drizzling rain overhead, when they had finally come together again.

Grinning, Mercedes asked. "You know I love you, right?"

"Absolutely."

Several kisses later and the two parted ways, confident in the future of tomorrow and what the days after that would bring for them - for this chance to finally get it right.

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><p><strong>Come on, me ending a fic with broken up Samcedes and creys? Unless it's an angsty oneshot prepost returning, I don't think so. Anything beyond a two-shot/full length story is Samcedes angst and then happiness! I follow a formula *shrugs* **

**OK, so this chapter was dedicated to mariposafria. I had some different plans for the talk before they reunited but I decided on this sort of calmer thing because in the end it really was a misunderstanding, of her not being able to get the words out at the right time.**

**I hope you all enjoyed this two-shot and thanks so much for all the alerts/faves and reviews :) Makes me so happy to see people like my stuff :)**

**WickedSong x**


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